Socially Distanced Claus


Santa is masked up and ready to deliver gifts this Christmas

Devin Gross, Staff Writer

When it comes to COVID, practically nobody is safe from it’s reach. It can spread to the farthest corners of the earth, because humans can. However if there was one place safe from all the chaos, there’s no place better than Santa’s workshop. The spread of the virus is only limited to the spread of people, and the whole point of the north pole is that it’s an untouched wonder. 

When you think about it, there’s no better candidate than Mr. Claus when it comes to staying healthy (aside from the tons of cookies and milk he eats once a year.) No ones ever seen him in person, let alone been to his place of work. The only time he comes out of his frigid domain is once a year in which he only stays in a house for a couple seconds. He wears gloves, and I’m 

sure has plenty of elves to help disinfect his sleigh. When you think about it, no one’s healthier than him. 

This actually provides a unique opportunity for Santa, as he is able to do something the rest of us aren’t: his normal routine. So for those of you who are worried you won’t get your brand new iPhone or PS5, fear not. You don’t have anything to worry about. 

The current back-draft of supplies due to COVID are the only thing that can slow him down, however since the pandemic has been prevalent since March, and Santa literally only has one job, I’m sure the big man can handle it. He’s been delivering gifts through plenty of diseases before, and i’m sure one named after a beer won’t stop him now. 

So have a safe and happy holiday, and look forward to Christmas. Santa will come through, no doubt about it.