Pumpkin Spice is Brainwashing millennials


photo courtesy of buissnessinsider.com

Ryan Van Veldhuizen, Staff Writer

Over the years pumpkin spice has been brainwashing the millennial generation. They are being addicted to it come every fall and they cannot be controlled.

The companies have been using this tactic of putting pumpkin spice into everything they can during the fall. From candles to lattes, the billionaires running these companies have put the addictive chemical only they have and put it into pumpkin spice. Once fall comes around, all the millennials are lined up at Starbucks for a reason.

The government has planned this so they can get as much money as they can even before the holiday season. These millennials have become so addicted to it that they have to post a selfie with their latte showing their friends they’re “on trend”. Pumpkin spice has taken over their lives and it’s too late to save them now.

“I have been waiting in this line for two hours for my pumpkin spice latte, but it’s all worth it. No, I don’t think I’m being brainwashed, only crazy people are brainwashed” stated, ‘Basic Millenial Person’.

“We devote our careers to helping the community by providing the products people want to see and giving them the best customer service out there” stated, CEO of Generic Company. (Declined to speak about their pumpkin spice products.)

This is why the companies only have pumpkin spice items during one season. If they had it all year round, all the millennials would die out from overconsumption and wouldn’t make any money. The government doesn’t want to tell anyone this but I’ve figured it out.