School Extension(Definitely happening)

Photo courtesy of Edwardsville High School

Photo courtesy of Edwardsville High School

Ryan Van Veldhuizen, Editor

This just in, Alta Loma High School has recently announced they will be extending the school year into the summer months. Students will now be going to school Monday through Friday for the months of June and July for the school year of 2022.

This new policy was made due to the lack of actual teaching in the previous year while all students were at home and classes were held online. A random study showed that 103% of students were online that year, showing that they weren’t in classrooms. How could they learn if they’re not even in school, what were they even doing online for a year, playing Cool Math?

Another study of 2 students revealed that 50% of students didn’t know what the equation 2+2 equaled, saying answers such as “I’m a dog, I don’t know any math” stated ‘Possible Student’. This unveils the truth, that students have fallen behind and need to catch up in their academic pursuits.

“It will be a very long year for these students, that’s all,” said an Alta Loma teacher.

Students have expressed their enthusiasm for this extension and claim that they were already going to summer school so it didn’t matter to them, as long as they could still sleep through their classes. While others say they have already planned vacations over the summer for some reason. The school has taken action on this and says that because they work for the government, they have access to their tracking chips in the students and know exactly where they are and can fail their students if they’re out of the country.